Observing how Simply Delicate this World really Is
by UnderAnonymous
Summary: Continuation of the first chapter of the 10th novel that was released. What happens when things just go from bad to worse? Is there any hope left? What is are these emotions that compel those who are nearing despair?
1. Chapter 1

They never knew how it was going to come to this they were all far too self absorbed to even notice the omens that plagued them since the very beginning. Perhaps the situation had begun to show its detestable face when Mikuru Asahina seized to exist? Or was it when Yuki Nagato fell ill? Maybe it was the very day that Haruhi Suzumiya created the SOS Brigade.

It began just like any other day, most days good or bad amazing or boring begin just like any other days and that is what made this day so significant. The day before had ended with the SOS Brigade leaving Yuki's house after accompanying her to the dinner that Haruhi had generously prepared for them. The meal was eaten in silence. Not a comfortable silence, just a pure dead, depressing, and weary silence. Maybe that could have been an omen itself. It was an anniversary that no one wished to celebrate. The 3 week anniversary of when Yuki Nagato had fallen ill. Kyon was near a state of despair, Itsuki was hiding what he felt as usual, and Mikuru (when she existed) was scared for more than one reason. Because it was her that had seen the omens from the very beginning, it was her that already knew what was going to happen, and it was her that did not have the heart, courage or even permission to tell them. Haruhi still continued to delude herself in saying that Yuki only had a nasty cold that would pass when she knew very well that Yuki did not have a cold and was most likely never going to get better since her condition only continued to get worse.

Haruhi came home that night. Too tired to cook, too tired to do her homework (not that it mattered to her at this stage) she was tired, so tired. After bathing she threw herself onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. She began to reflect on a good many things, mostly negative things, the emotions that she never liked to feel were being dwelled on by her at this very moment. Why was the word that repeated over and over again in her mind like a broken record. Why? was Yuki sick and so defenseless? Why is she not getting better? Why am I so tired? Why is this all happening? Why is the SOS Brigade so dull now? Why is Kyon seemingly in love with Yuki? Why was Kyon seemingly in love with Sasaki? Why doesn't Kyon love me? Why do I even love him? Why did I get involved with him? Why did I choose to form a club with the outcome being this? Why, why, why, why, why, why? She always disliked asking this question because she knows that such "Why" questions are never answered. Not only that but she knew that questions like these made her thoughts drift off into the negatives. She caught herself and tried to smile but for once in a long time couldn't do it. She tried to bring her attention and thoughts elsewhere but once again to no avail. So she continued to wallow and dwell in the most unpleasant of thoughts. The thing about all of these questions was that she already knew (or thought she knew) all of the answers. Yuki is sick and defenseless because she was always a frail girl. She is not getting better because she is so frail. She was so tired because she was working hard every day to cater to Yuki's needs, make sure she isn't lonely and more importantly, keeping her own composure in this situation was the most exerting. This is all happening because fate or maybe peoples' actions made it so. The SOS Brigade is dull because the only thing that they ever do anymore is worry about Yuki "Is Yuki comfortable at home? Does Yuki have fresh sheets to sleep under? Is Yuki being fed properly? Should we open the windows to give Yuki some air, or should we leave them closed because Yuki could get cold?" Kyon was seemingly in love with Yuki simply because she is a nice girl that needs to be protected. Kyon is seemingly in love with Sasaki because they were "Close friends" and got to know each other very well. Kyon does not love her because she is not his "Close friend" and she is not nice and does not need protection. She loves him for reasons that she obviously already knows. She originally formed the SOS Brigade to find aliens, time travelers, espers and other paranormal things, the naïve girl at that time did not know that such an outcome was even imaginable. Yes, Haruhi knew the answers to all of these questions but questions like these were psychological ones that messed with peoples' emotions, trickster questions that Haruhi usually never fell for, but that day was different.

You see, these were not why questions, they were "what if things were different?" questions in disguise. Haruhi was just so weary and the girl who had been filled with such vitality was now drained of all energy. Just as she was curling up to go to sleep, her cell phone rang. It was a text message from Sasaki. How she had even gotten her number; Haruhi figured that Kyon gave it to her. "Meet at the café tomorrow at 6 pm. I need to discuss some things with you." Haruhi closed her phone without even replying, she refused though to meet Sasaki at the café though. She didn't like Sasaki for whatever reasons. Sasaki was odd and artificial to her, she had this strange aura that just freaked her out and plus, her relationship with Kyon. She should have texted or called back to say that she was refusing to meet Sasaki, but didn't feel like being asked the simple "why" question but then again Sasaki is odd so she might not say that, but still, she can wait for her to never come as much as Haruhi cared.

And with that thought in her mind, she drifted off to sleep. Had she not been as tired as she was she probably wouldn't have been able to sleep well. But she slept soundly that night with the most awful and deadly of dreams.

Yes, Mikuru knew but didn't know at the same time. Her superiors never tell her anything, but she can feel it right now. She knows somehow that she may lose her existence since in this particular dimension, someone is never born (either that, or killed) that someone contributes to her being born.

She can't explain it but she feels it. She knows that it's coming and yes, she is scared and feels like crying, but this time she does not cry. This time she reflects on her life. Her time with the SOS Brigade that was bittersweet but in the end has turned out to be a place that she adores. She came to love everyone there and for that, she is glad.

And then__________________________________

She now seizes to exist.

Yuki did not want to sleep that night because she felt a feeling that she did not know. She doesn't quite exactly understand feelings. Emotions are a language that she is still in the process of learning. She knows what happiness is, and she knows what sadness is. She just cannot comprehend them. In her earlier stages she would see happiness and sadness wherever she went.

Processing……

Processing…………..

Data Unidentified….

Used to be her answer. Now though, she had long ago realized that emotions are human and she may never have or understand them. But something was wrong, she had a flaw once and she didn't know what it was and why she did what she did, but she now understands that it was some kind of emotion. She was not human, she would never be human. She was merely an interface created to communicate with humans. The emotion that she was feeling lured her. She had not the slightest idea why, but she began to write.

She had always read. Read and read all the time. She once wrote once too. It was a fantasy horror story written to satisfy the Student Council President. It is hard to say whether or not she enjoyed writing but if she wanted to do it again, maybe that shows that she does enjoy writing.

She wrote all night long and all day long continuously without a break. She was a writer.


	2. Chapter 2

So coming back to that ordinary day that had graced the SOS Brigade, here is the event that was possibly another omen, or just the beginning of the falling apart.

Mikuru was absent from the SOS Brigade meeting today. Normally, Haruhi wouldn't have gone so far as to find her but she (and everyone) has become paranoid since the Yuki crisis.

Since Yuki had become too ill to attend meetings, the first member to enter had become Mikuru Asahina when she didn't have cleaning duty. Next was most likely Kyon and the last was either Haruhi or Itsuki Koizumi. Mikuru did not have cleaning duty that day. Kyon, being the first to enter, had noticed her absence right away. "Maybe she has cleaning duty today? Maybe she's just late?" were Kyon's explanations. Next came in Haruhi and Itsuki and of course they noticed and had the same predictions too. So they waited and waited some more. Since Yuki fell ill, the SOS Brigade became a place that was still and silent. Despite the fact that Yuki hardly uttered a word, there was something about her silence that had made the room lively, something that could not be explained. Without Mikuru in the room that day, the silence was at an advanced stage, there was dialogue exchanged yes, but the noise behind the voices was below zero and it was eerie and felt strange. Like Yuki's silence, there was also something about Mikuru scuttling about the room cheerfully making her tea that made the room lively and comforting. There was something about everyone's presence in the room that made it lively and comfortable. It was complete with all five members and member missing was like a vital organ missing or a wall in a house. No one felt safe, or comforted by the room anymore.

The Brigade clubroom had become like a second home to its inhabitants. It was their place, it was where things happened. It was once darkly referred to as a place for refuge, a place to escape to. Subconsciously it was most certainly a place for them to escape, they were all escapists, escaping from themselves, the people around them and the outside world. Possibly that was why they commuted to the clubroom every day without a second thought, addiction or habit? (There is a thin line between the two).

They waited for her. They waited for about thirty minutes but she never showed.

"Gosh, what is taking that girl so long?"

Haruhi had said, her irritation a mask that hid her anxiety.

"That's it Kyon, just call her now!"

Haruhi had conveniently left her cell phone at home so she didn't have to read anymore text messages from Sasaki.

Kyon tried to look up her name in his contacts, but no matter how many times he scrolled through the list, he could not find it. After realizing that it was oddly not there, he sat down and tried to remember what her phone number was. He dialed what he thought it might be.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

"Hello?"

The voice came right when it was about to go the answering machine. The voice was most definitely not his Asahina-san's.

"Who is this?"

Kyon asked in surprise. He had been so sure that he had the right number.

"I'd rather not say my name."

Came the mysterious but somehow familiar female voice.

"Can I speak to Asahina-san?"

"I'm sorry, who is that?"

"Asa-hina-san"

"I don't know anyone by that surname."

"Mikuru Asahina, I'm sure that this is her phone number."

"I'm sorry sir but I think you have the wrong num-" 

"NO, I'm sure that I have the right number!"

"Can you please calm down sir? I'm sorry but this has been my cell phone number for three years now."

Kyon had been positive that he had the right number…he knew that he had the right number but he also knew that something was terribly wrong. Haruhi was in the room so he could not speak of anything paranormal at the moment.

"Okay sorry…."

"Don't worry about it sir."

"Have you called me before?"

The girl hung up abruptly.

Two things to clarify is that Kyon dialed absolutely the right number and, the girl had called him before.

"What the hell was that Kyon!"

"You obviously did have the wrong number!"

"Why don't you just call her from your contacts?"

Kyon knew that he could not tell Haruhi that Mikuru's phone number no longer existed, that would be something paranormal.

"It's about time that we visit Yuki."

Kyon had came up with the perfect save.

It was the usual time that they visited Yuki.

The SOS Brigade had had to adjust somewhat to Yuki no longer being able to come to meetings, so they made their daily visits to Yuki's house considered part of the meetings, meaning that they now left the clubroom earlier than they used to. Also anything that had to do with Yuki was top priority and that was a rule made by the Brigade Leader herself. Anything that had to do with Mikuru's absence was now forgotten.

Today's dinner was Miso soup loaded with all kinds of healthy stuff, one of Haruhi's specialties.

Yuki was lying in bed when they got there (no one noticed her unfinished story on the table) There really was no positivity in visiting Yuki in that dead apartment, except for Haruhi's cooking that somehow fed the soul and the body at the same time which lightened the mood most of the time. Haruhi pretended not to notice the absence of the quiet and clumsy girl that cooked alongside her. Other than Haruhi's dishes, there was also Mikuru's tea that was looked forward to since Mikuru began to brew some super delicious nutritious herbal tea to accompany the meals. Haruhi brewed the tea today although she gifted in cooking, she was did not make the tea as well as Mikuru did.

There was some joy during the meal despite the absence that they had been pretending not to notice, the soup had warmed them since the weather outside had been cold lately, and it warmed their grim spirits a notch as well.

Yuki ate slowly with a distant look in her eyes, she had always shown an interest in eating but today she was eating slower than usual and not displaying any interest in the meal whatsoever.

"Yuki are you tired?"

Haruhi had asked.

I…..can't finish."

Yuki said as she gently set the chopsticks on the bowl. She had only taken about five bites.

"That's okay, they're plenty of leftovers; for now you need to sleep."

Haruhi was concerned but continued to hide it.

After the Brigade had left, Yuki got out of bed to continue writing her story.


End file.
